The Switched Glitch
by Dr. James
Summary: Vicky loves to humiliate people, especially her bratty little sister. Until one day, a wish made by Timmy causes the sisters to swap roles, and now Vicky is younger than Tootie. Now it's time for Vicky to get a taste of her own medicine.
1. You Fail

**Switched Glitch**

---

"Aw man!"

Things couldn't get worse for Timmy Turner. He had just been called into the principal office today, just when school was nearly about to end, and when he arrived he expected to see Mr. Crocker and a very annoyed Principal Waxelplax standing their while Crocker made some half hearted attempt to expose his fairies in front of the school administrator. Instead, however, when Timmy arrived he saw the two people he expected to see, but they had a different agenda. The principal behind her desk, Mr. Crocker sitting in a chair across the room, and a slightly out of place looking cardboard box next to an empty chair were what awaited Timmy. Cautiously, he took a seat.

"Timmy Turner, though you have been a very well behaved student as of late, Mr. Crocker tells me your grades are slipping." Principal Waxelplax said to him, pronouncing Mr. Crocker's name with a slight tone of annoyance.

"Slipping!?" Timmy protested, "How so? They haven't slipped lower than an F all year!"

"Not true!" Mr. Crocker yelled and pulled a stamp from out of his pocket, "F MINUS!" he stamped it hard on Timmy's forehead while Principal Waxelplax stood by idly apathetic to the student child abuse going on right on front of her. Timmy rubbed the F- mark of his forehead and glared angrily at Mr. Crocker who had broken out laughing.

"Timmy, I'm not going to sugar coat it," Principal Waxelplax said, frowning and sincere, "You're going to get held back."

"WHAT!?" Timmy screamed, "NO! YOU CAN'T HOLD ME BACK!" his eyes frantically darted around the room, looking for an exit, but the door had been locked behind him and all the windows were closed, and maybe it was just him but that cardboard box was creeping closer to him every time he glanced at it. His principal and most hated teacher just gave Timmy a stone cold stare. They were serious.

"Please," Timmy pleaded, "Francis is already getting held back this year! He always does! He'll be in my grade again! My friends, my dream girl, all of them will go onto the next grade without me!"

Neither his principal nor teacher would budge, Timmy felt like a cornered animal. This could not be happening, Chester, AJ, Trixie, heck even his back up friends Elmer and Sanjay, would be in a bigger grade than him. His worst schoolyard bully would still be in his class to torture him. He would be the laughing stock of Dimmsdale Elementary School if he weren't that enough already. It was all Crocker's doing… he knew that if he didn't get Timmy's fairies now before the school year ended, he could lose his chance forever. Not only that, but Timmy was sure that cardboard box just moved again.

"I'm begging you!" Timmy fell to his knees and groveled before his principal, tears welling in his eyes, "I don't have any friends in the grade below me…"

"YES YOU DO!"

Timmy nearly had a heart attack as Tootie burst out of the cardboard box, wearing a black headband and spy suit reminiscent of a certain elongate legless carnivorous reptile in a state of matter resistant of deformation and changes of volume. His first reaction to seeing his dreaded admirer was to wipe his tears away quickly, he couldn't be seen crying by one of his peers. Then it was to wince in horror was he was immediately grabbed and smooched a dozen times.

"Oh Timmy! Just think… You and me, going on field trips, learning fractions, and study groups… TOGETHER!" Tootie squeezed Timmy so tightly his face started to turn blue and his eyes started popping out like someone who had been exposed to the vacuum of space.

"Arrgh… Tootie… what are you… doing here… anyways?" Timmy gasped the words out, trying not to lose consciousness and bang his head on the desk in front of him. Actually, a trip to the hospital might not be a bad idea right now. He just wanted out. Tootie was too busy savoring her moment with Timmy to answer him anyways.

Mr. Crocker, who was laughing like a maniac as this was all transpiring, abruptly ceased his laughter and turned to Principal Waxelplax, "Alright, I've seen Turner suffer enough for now. Now tell him _your_ end of the bargain."

"Gladly!" Principal Waxelplax exclaimed, and gestured at Tootie, "Why don't you take a seat?"

Tootie let go off Timmy and looked around, "But there is nowhere to sit!"

The principal smirked as she pressed a button under her desk, and without warning a spring from under Mr. Crocker's seat launched him quite painfully through the roof and into the afternoon sky. With nobody even taking a moment to stop and think that they may have just killed Mr. Crocker, Tootie happily jumped into his now open seat.

"Ugh, sorry about that children, but Mr. Crocker did bring up an important point," Principal Waxelplax held up Timmy's report card, the grades were mediocre at best, his time machine he wished up had carried him through history this year, but most glaring was that he failed Crocker's class. Principal Waxelplax continued, "You don't have enough passed courses to get into the next grade."

"But that's where I come in!" Tootie piped in, standing on her chair proudly. Timmy shivered at this; he had a feeling he knew where this was going when Principal Waxelplax nodded in acknowledgement.

"You see, this girl here has been excelling in grades and attendance, she's the most well behaved kid in the school, heck she even wears a uniform everyday and we don't even make her!" Principal Waxelplax praised the little girl across the desk from her. Tootie smiled bashfully and reached back and unzipped the back of her spy suit, slipping out of it and revealing her usual black, white, and plaid attire in perfectly dull condition. "Thank you!" she politely replied to her principal.

"_Yeah, she's also creepy, follows me home all the time, and sneaks into my tree house…"_ Timmy thought, but he couldn't bring himself to say it in front of Tootie. She was having her moment, why ruin it?

"We want to move her up a grade, but she just needs one more class as well. Since Mr. Crocker is stingy about accepting new students, he and I worked out a deal." Principal Waxelplax explained, "We can get you both credit for the drama class with a passing grade if you play the part in the upcoming school play…."

Timmy sank in his seat while Tootie climbed to edge of hers as they anticipated what the principal was about to say.

"…Romeo and Juliet!"

Tootie cheered and jumped up and down in her seat while Timmy let out a long groan.

"_Could this get any worse?" _Timmy thought, and then waited, he knew it was coming.

"…aaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" BLAM! Mr. Crocker fell through the ceiling, creating another hole in the roof and landing head first onto the hardwood floor. His body stuck straight out of it like an arrow for a few moments before he reached his arms and pushed his head out of the hole in the floor he had made on impact. As if nothing had happened to him, Mr. Crocker snapped back onto his feet and screamed "GUESS WHAT TURNER? IF YOU MESS UP, NEITHER OF YOU ARE GOING ANYWHERE!"

"….That's right. Part of the deal." Principal Waxelplax acknowledged, "Either you guys nail this role, or you won't pass the drama course and I can't let either of you advance."

"Don't worry, me and Timmy are meant for each other! We're going to put on the best play ever!" Tootie pledged with her fist in the air. Timmy at this point was fiddling with the underneath of his seat, hoping that it also had a trap mechanism like the other one that he could 'accidently' set off and make a smooth, albeit life threatening getaway. All he succeeded in doing though was getting his fingers tangled on a piece of gum stuck underneath the chair.

"_Just great, not only do I have to be Tootie's lover, I have to do it in front of the whole school, and if the play is good, Tootie is going to be in my grade tormenting me in front of my friends and Trixie all the time. But if I mess this up I'll be TOOTIE's grade!"_ Timmy thought.

Whoever wins, he loses.

---

Meanwhile at Dimmsdale High, the meanest, nastiest, most neglectful babysitter in the history of childhood was snoozing her way through another boring history class. Genghis Khan? The Crusades? The Baatan Death March? What a bunch of amateurs. Vicky usually took this time to picture herself leading the armies of evil men, standing at a podium screaming in German while her legion of minions goose stepped in a military parade before her. Unfortunately, her imagination had been lacking as of late, she needed something else to occupy her thoughts while the school day slowly wound to a close.

Removing her cell phone from her pocket and hiding it under her desk so her teacher wouldn't see it, though she'd be darned if that fool tried to confiscate it anyways, Vicky browsed through the phones web browser until she reached her favorite social networking site, Twitbook. Searching under the 'Dimmsdale News' category group, she came across a particularly interesting post…

"TURNER GONNA GETZ IT 2DAY!!!!!!1" –l33tFaiRyHuNtAr

That was one her favorite posters! Another intelligent mind that shared her hatred of Timmy Turner, Vicky couldn't resist and quickly clicked on the link. She read through the post which was a long, detailed report that someone had just written, claiming that the twerp would be held back in school if he didn't put on a good performance at a school play that was being held tomorrow. This gave her an idea. Putting aside her phone for a moment, she reached in her back pocket and pulled out a small notebook schedule. She flipped a few pages and then frowned in disappointment, "_Darn it, I'm not babysitting the twerp tonight…."_ She thought, then flipped another page, "_…Or tomorrow either. No worries, I'll just get him at the play tomorrow."_ There was no way she was going to pass up the opportunity to make Timmy have to repeat another year at school, she was going to ruin the twerp's performance no matter what it took.

With perfect timing, the school bell rung to signal the end of the school day. Vicky was the first out the door, she quickly reached her car which was parked in the very first spot in the handicap section, the parking police knew better than to ticket her, and drove off toward home to plot her next move.

---

Vicky wasn't the only one who had to come up with a plan, Timmy knew there was no way he, a stupid ten year old boy, could rehearse the lines to a main character in a play that would probably be like an hour long in the course of just one night. At least, just a stupid ten year old boy couldn't, but a boy with fairy god parents could.

"Cosmo! Wanda! You've got to help me!" Timmy yelled as he ran into his room and slammed the door behind him. Cosmo and Wanda, disguised as his goldfish, POOFed into their normal fairy forms and floated in front of Timmy.

"What's wrong Timmy?" Wanda asked.

"Is it Vicky?" Cosmo asked, biting his nails nervously as his eyes darted around the room.

"Yeah, I wish." Timmy said sarcastically. Wanda and Cosmo began to raise their wands, when Timmy waved his arms around frantically, "STOP! I didn't mean that literally!" He paused them just in time; although unbeknownst to him his evil babysitter was already involved even if she hadn't made it known yet. Timmy went over to his bed and sat down, dropping his book bag onto the floor and holding his head down in his hands. "It's not Vicky, it's Tootie."

"She's chasing you again? Man she is persistent." Wanda shook her head, although she actually liked Tootie somewhat, sometimes she feared that girl's snooping would one day get them discovered. Tootie was polite, Wanda liked that, but almost too polite, her thankfulness almost DID get them discovered when Timmy had loaned her and Cosmo to Tootie on her birthday.

"You don't know the half of it. She's actually been working extra hard at school, JUST SO she can be in the same grade as me." Timmy said, he shuddered again at the thought of Tootie in his class with him, watching his every move, blocking his every attempt at Trixie. Timmy continued, "Worse, Crocker is failing me so in order to move up a grade next year I have to do this stupid school play with her, or else I get held back and Tootie will be in my grade next year!"

"That's not so bad Timmy!" Cosmo exclaimed, "Maybe if you let Trixie go ahead of you a year, you'll do what Tootie did, study hard, and actually do well at school for once!" he suggested.

"Yeah right, not with Mr. Crocker and Tootie tormenting me all day long for another year, plus with my two biggest stalkers having their eyes on me all the time, I'll never be able to bring you guys to school again!" Timmy exclaimed. Cosmo and Wanda nodded, he was right; in fact because of Crocker's recent antics they had opted not to go to Timmy's school unless he knew he would really need them. He sure could have today, although with second thought, Timmy knew that Da Rules would have just forbid him from taking the easy way out and changing his failing grade to a pass because it was 'cheating', these things always blocked him and forced him into these long illogical adventures that end up getting solved with magic anyways.

"Don't worry about it kiddo!" Wanda attempted to her cheer her godson up, "We can't use our magic to make you pass, but we can certainly help you put on a good show!"

"Gee well thanks but," Timmy stopped and groaned, remembering the other half of his problem, "If the play is good, Tootie gets moved into my grade anyways, and I'll be stuck with her the rest of this year, next year, all the way until I graduate high school and possibly beyond!"

"Unlikely you'll get past high school Timmy!" Cosmo joked, and chimed in, "Even if you did go to college, Tootie would follow you anywhere in the world!"

Timmy smiled and nodded at Cosmo's comment, not just because it was funny but because it was pretty true, he could transfer to a school in France and she'd already be waiting for him there. Tootie was _that_ dedicated.

"Well, looks like the best thing you can do is put on a good show." Wanda said, and she was right, Timmy was going to get stuck with Tootie either way but at least if he doesn't mess up then he won't have to repeat a year at school, and who knows, if the play is good enough and Tootie gets what she wanted then maybe, just maybe, she'll stop being so clingy and annoying for a bit.

Probably not though.

---

Sweat dripped from her brow, she wiped it off and strained her eyes from behind her big horn rimmed glasses. With careful precision, Tootie was hard at work sewing together her costume for the school play. After making the finishing touches, she held up her work and admired it, before neatly setting her costume down on the bed. Then, grabbed her favorite photograph of Timmy off her desk and began to practice.

"Wherefore art thou Timmy?" she stopped and coughed a bit, "_Does my voice normally sound this nasally and shrill?"_ she cleared her sinuses and sprayed some breath freshener into her mouth, then began to speak again, her voice now sounding much more gentle and befitting of her role as she continued practicing…

"O Timmy, O Timmy, wherefore art thou Timmy…"

"BRAVO!"

Tootie jumped out of her chair and fell down on the floor, landing hard on her back. When she picked herself up and focused on the loud intruder of her privacy, she was unsurprised to find it was Vicky, who was clapping unenthusiastically.

"This is rich, you're gonna be in the same dorky little play as the twerp? Go figure." Vicky approached her little sister who was already shaking with fear, she had her hands on her hips that usual stiffen cobra ready to strike look. "The twerp doesn't stand a chance with your ugly mug in the show! I'm sure they'll just make you play as a tree or something, you'd blend right in with the bark!"

"That's not true!" Tootie protested, "I'm pretty enough to play Juliet... the LEAD ROLL!" she yelled, sounding almost like her older sister for a moment when she raised her voice. Vicky was not at all impressed, or convinced.

"Yeah right, here's a pro-tip brainiac, Timmy doesn't want to be your Romeo, and I don't think they wore thick ugly glasses back then anyways! You'll be a walking anachronism!" Vicky laughed at her; although Tootie was young she was smart enough to know what Vicky meant, her eye glasses would be a distraction and Tootie knew she had to be perfect, if she didn't wear her glasses she'd be stumbling around the stage and knocking over props.

"I… I'm gonna do it! You'll see!" Tootie said trying to regain her confidence, but Vicky had really managed to get in her head.

"Oh I will." Vicky said, and turned to leave. That's when she spotted the dress costume Tootie had laid out on the bed. Without warning or provocation, Vicky reached over and grabbed a container of ink off Tootie's desk, opened it, and hurled it onto the dress.

"Nooo!" Tootie screamed as her hard work was ruined when the open container of ink splattered all over it. Plus it stained her Timmy Turner bed sheets too.

"Oops!" Vicky remarked sarcastically, and then cackled as she made her way out the door while her little sister broke out into sobs.

---

_Back at Timmy's house…_

Timmy was strapped to a seat with restraints on his arms and legs, his eyes held open by the lids by a painful looking metal apparatus. Suspended above him was a computer screen rapidly displaying images as quickly as his shifty eyes could process. Wanda was floating nearby, she rolled her eyes in then raised her wand up and poofed away the machine, leaving Timmy standing in his room, blinking his eyes, shaking and rubbing his head.

"I know show-fu." Timmy announced. Without warning, he leaped onto his bed and yelled, "O, teach me how I should forget to think!"

"That's great Timmy!" Wanda applauded him, and then asked, "Do you know any other lines?"

"I forgot." Timmy sunk back onto his bed. "This isn't working. I'm never going to remember over 500 lines in just one night! I couldn't remember that many lines if you gave me 500 years! I'M DOOMED!"

"Timmy, you're not doomed…" Wanda began, when they heard a ruckus heading toward Timmy's room. Fearing Timmy's parents or Vicky, Cosmo and Wanda poofed back into goldfish and hid inside their fishbowl castle. Timmy began to panic.

"Yep! See? Now Vicky is coming, or worse, Tootie, or worse, my parents and they found out I'm failing! I'm doomed! DOOMED! DOO-MED!!!! DOOOOOOOMEEEEEED!!!!!"

---

A/N: Chapter one complete! As I didn't include a song or two male characters ramming each other I expect no more than 2 reviews per chapter so get cracking!!!!


	2. Timmeo and Tootiette

**The Switched Glitch**

Part 2

---

The footsteps crept closer to Timmy's bedroom door, and he could only guess who was about to invade his privacy this time around. It could be Vicky, ready to torment him with another babysitting session. It could also be Tootie, here to fawn over him and their role together in the school play. Or, worst case scenario, his school had called home and now his parents knew he was about to fail this year of school. That would mean no more video games, no more TV, and no more friends until his grades were improved, and with Crocker behind all this, it's unlikely he'd EVER improve his grades. This ridiculous school play was the only way out.

His doorknob began to turn; Timmy closed his eyes and waited for it. The door swung open and he heard a voice.

"Timmy!"

He opened his eyes, certainly not expecting to see the, not one, but four kids standing in his room. It was good buddies, Chester and AJ! Oh, and Elmer and Sanjay were there too.

"Jeez you guys scared the crap out of me." Timmy said with a sigh of relief, "What's up?"

"Dude, we heard." Chester informed him, AJ next to him pulled out his laptop and pointed at the screen nodding, "Yeah, it's all over Twitbook."

"So you know I'm about to get held back, as well as everyone else in the school!?" Timmy exclaimed in panic. Just what he needed, even more pressure, no doubt every kid in the school would be there for blood, HIS blood, and on the edge of their seats hanging on Timmy's every word waiting for him to mess up so they could laugh him out of school.

"Yeah Timmy, every friend and enemy you have knows by now." AJ acknowledged, and then he put his hand on Timmy's shoulder, "Relax buddy, that's why we're here, to help."

Gee, NOW they wanted to help. Whenever Timmy needed a partner for a school project or help on a test these two buttheads would ditch him. AJ was a straight A student yet he would nerd rage whenever Timmy asked him for help with homework, school projects, and the occasional answer to a tough question on a test, whispered of , late help was better than no help at all.

"Thanks guys. But I have to go on stage myself and remember tons of lines." Timmy explained, and raised an eyebrow at AJ, "How exactly are you going to help me?"

"It's okay Timmy!" Chester assured him, "We have it all planned out."

AJ nodded and pulled out a large rolled up poster from his backpack. He unfurled it onto the floor and pointed at various illustrations. "These are various scenes throughout the play. The others and I are going to use our mastery of the power of disguise to play as you during parts of the play. We each chose a scene and carefully learned the lines, but you aren't off the hook yet, you still need to do the last one."

"Okay, that MIGHT work, but how good are your disguises again?" Timmy had this make this inquiry, and after he saw AJ grab a few items from his backpack and throw them on Elmer, Timmy knew he was right to be skeptical. Yeah, it did kind of look like him with a false set of plastic buck teeth, pink hat and usual attire, but the humongous boil might be a dead giveaway. "_Ahh, worst case scenario I have my fairies."_ Timmy was relieved he could use magic to spice things up a bit, but most of all he figured his teachers would be too dumb to tell anyways. "Alright, sounds like a plan, thanks a lot guys." Timmy smiled, his friends responded with "No problem" and "Anytime" although he noticed them cracking up a bit. That's when it hit Timmy.

"Wait… what scene am I doing again?"

"The kissing scene." AJ said as he and Chester started cracking up.

"WHAT!? Oh no, do you guys know who I got to kiss?" Timmy yelled at his friends who were now in full out laughter.

"Oh yes." AJ and the others calmed themselves, and then he handed Timmy his part of the script. "Time to start practicing, Romeo!"

His friends, if those cackling little hyenas could even be called that, resumed their laughing at Timmy's expense while he stood there in embarrassment. "_Great, so ALL of my friends know I'm gonna have to kiss Tootie tomorrow, it hasn't even happened yet and they are having a field day." _Frustration growing inside of him, Timmy did his best to quell it, he didn't want to turn sour on his friends even though he was annoyed by them, because either way he needed their help tomorrow. "It's not funny!" he protested.

"Better pucker up tomorrow Timmy!" Chester said, rubbing it in. He was on AJ's lap top, and swiveled it around so the screen faced Timmy. "It was just posted on the school website that all classes at the end of the day will be cancelled so that EVERYONE in school can see you and Tootie get _doooowwnnnn!!" _the rest of Timmy's friends started laughing at Chester's highly inappropriate comment and now Timmy had enough.

"Okay guys, I better get practicing on my lines. I'll see yo-" Timmy stopped short when he looked down at his script and noticed there was nothing on it. He flipped a few pages, all of which were blank, until he came across a crude drawing of a stick figure with pig tails and a stick figure with a pink hat and buck teeth kissing each other. "HEY!!!!"

"Your line IS the kiss!" AJ told him, as he and the rest of Timmy's friends waved to him and exited his room. Timmy could hear them cracking up again in the hallway.

Tossing his 'script' into the trash, Timmy jumped onto his bed and lay there, fully clothed, staring at his ceiling in disbelief. This morning he was a cheerful boy, his only concerns were avoiding Francis at school , outwitting Mr. Crocker in class, and charming the lovely Miss Tang at lunch time. None of these happened by the way, he got his butt kicked and lunch money taken the nanosecond he walked in the school doors, Mr. Crocker is flunking him, and though he didn't run into Trixie today, she certainly won't be charmed tomorrow at the scene of Tootie slurping all over his face on stage in front of the entire school. His godparents, sensing the coast was clear, appeared floating beside him.

"Ohhh, you got your script, let me see!" Cosmo exclaimed excitedly and pulled the script out of the trash. He flipped through the blank pages and screamed, "THIS IS TOO HARD!!!"

"Quietchoo." Wanda said quickly and raised her wand, a zipper appeared on Cosmo's mouth and zipped shut, removing his presence from my story once again. I'm like Spiderman when it comes to writing Cosmo's lines. Every story gets ONE.

Satisfied with the lack of ear piercing annoyingness, Wanda continued, "Timmy, we'll watch out for you tomorrow. Don't worry."

"You won't be the only ones watching." Timmy groaned, he slipped off his shoes but remained fully clothed on his bed as he shut his eyes, "I'm going to bed. I'll need plenty of sleep to survive the worst day ever tomorrow."

---

"Ah, what a beautiful way to start the best day ever!"

Vicky would normally arise from her bed groggily and snappy at whatever parent had awoken her, but today she had set her alarm nice and early, and when she got out of bed she had an extra spring to her step.

Today she was going to kill two twerps with one stone.

Before a live human audience.

It would be glorious.

Vicky reached over and flipped a switch on her wall. A portion of her wall panel flipped over and revealed a cache of weapons. Vicky opened her backpack and stuffed various tools of destruction and vandalism into it. "Oh I can hardly contain myself!" she squealed. She would get her revenge on the twerp's many injuries to her, plus she had a chance to embarrass her dorky little sister to boot. There was no way in a million years that she would pass up this opportunity. Not intending to invoke any suspicions amongst her family members, she would attend school today as customary, but she would be leaving a little early today to make sure the stage is in 'tip top' shape for Tootie's play.

Dressing into her usual green and black attire, she slung her backpack over her shoulder and exited her room. While in the hallway, she noticed her little sister walking away from her toward her room, touching the wall next to her for guidance, the bathroom door ajar behind her. Curious, Vicky decided to investigate and walked into the bathroom. She noticed that Tootie had left her glasses in there, as well as a container for something else. Vicky grabbed the container and read it, she smirked and then left the bathroom and made her way to the kitchen for breakfast.

---

The day dragged on slowly for Timmy. As it was now common knowledge that Timmy was going to be in a play, Francis immediately beat him up, and Mr. Crocker made several attempts to expose his fairies. He kept Cosmo and Wanda well hidden, but he would have to be careful during the play with Mr. Crocker's watchful eyes on him. Surprisingly, he had not run into Tootie at all today. He would have thought she would make several attempts to accost him during the day, or at least remind him of the role he would be playing soon.

At least one good thing came had already come out of it though, Timmy was excused from his afternoon classes to get ready for the play. He strolled down the hall alone with a solemn look on his face, and then smiled when his friends joined him in the hall. Chester, AJ, Sanjay, and Elmer each appeared next to him one after another as they found ways to excuse themselves from their own classes, each holding a bag beside them.

"Thanks again guys, let's get this over with." Timmy said to his friends as they made their way to the auditorium.

"Don't mention it Timmy." AJ said, and pulled something out of his bag, a sly look on his face, "Here, I brought something else to help!" He handed Timmy a chap stick, who clutched it in his fist and began fuming.

"Real funny." Timmy muttered.

"Ah, lighten up Timmy. We're kidding around." Chester said.

"Yeah, the last scenes in Romeo and Juliet don't even involve a kiss, just tragic death." AJ told him, which immediately brightened Timmy's mood.

"YEA! VIOLENCE!" Timmy exclaimed, "You mean I won't have to kiss Tootie?"

"Oh you will!" AJ laid it on him, "The school uses the watered down Disney version. All scenes of violence and other adult stuff removed for the sake of protecting the weak."

"I get squeamish around blood!" Elmer whined.

"The last scene of _this_ version of the play involves a kiss, it's as edgy as the school board would allow." AJ finished with a quip, "So pucker up!"

"_Those jerks!" _Timmy thought while his friends burst out laughing around him, "_Leading me on for a moment just to crush my hopes. At least Tootie wouldn't treat me like that."_ Wait, did he just try to justify Tootie? Timmy rapidly shook his head, trying to get the invasive thoughts out of his brain; his friends looked at him for a moment with concern but continued laughing anyways.

"Laugh all you want!" Timmy told them, "At least I'm actually getting a kiss from a girl, I can name a few people who haven't gotten to that base yet."

His friends immediately stopped laughing and looked down at their feet in shame, sonned, while Timmy strolled into the backstage door into the auditorium.

---

It was almost showtime. Timmy nervously peeked through the curtains and nearly fainted on the spot when he saw what looked to be hundreds of kids packed into the auditorium. Mr. Crocker was in the front row, he probably wanted to be up close to the stage so he could laugh at Timmy's failure within earshot. He also spotted Trixie and the other rich kids up in the special 'popular only' balcony seat. However, what shocked him most was he saw Vicky in the front row as well. She was amongst several of the other teachers, to Timmy she was poorly disguised, but to the others she looked like a news journalist. Timmy passed her presence off as a result of Tootie's role in the play and not his, but still, why the disguise?

"This can't be good." Timmy said.

AJ, who was already dressed in a doppelganger 'Romeo Timmy' costume, save for the concealing mask, asked him, "What's wrong? Stage fright?"

"Oh, you'll get it too when you see who's sitting in the front row." Timmy said, his voice a little shaky. "Vicky is here."

"Maybe she's here with the rest of Tootie's family?" AJ suggested, although the look on his face told Timmy that he too was alarmed by Vicky being there.

"That's what I thought." Timmy said, "But she's wearing a disguise."

AJ peaked out the curtains himself, and it took him no time at all to spot Vicky, although everyone else in the audience was oblivious to her presence.

"Maybe she was supposed to be in school, I don't know." AJ was getting nervous, but smiled and reassured himself and Timmy, "A lot of people want to see you fail Timmy. Probably more in that audience than people who actually want to see a good performance."

"Well I'm going to have to let them all down then." Timmy said, gaining confidence, "This is going to be the best performance Dimmsdale Elementary School ever saw!" he declared, and then turned away from AJ and smirked, "_After all, I have my fairies to help me._"

Timmy made his way to the changing room. He didn't even have a bag like the others, but he did have a green watch and a pink belt, and that was all he needed. When he was alone in the changing room, he whispered to Wanda, "I wish I had a Romeo costume."

With a magical poof, Timmy's clothes became a green renaissance tunic with pink buttons. With his magical Hollywood-budget quality costume adorned, he made his way back into the backstage area. His newly gained costume dropped again when he saw Chester, Elmer, and Sanjay stumbling around bumping into each other, unable to see anything in the hideous Timmy masks they were wearing, and their costumes were tacky to boot. Timmy muttered a wish to his godparents and with another magical poof, all his friends, including AJ, were wearing costumes similar to his own and with masks that made them look like real Timmy clones.

"Alright, places everyone!" the play director announced. Timmy, Chester, AJ, and Sanjay hid on sidelines while Elmer took the stage first. When he realized that Elmer would be opening up his scenes, Timmy turned away from his friends and whispered another wish to his godparents. The play began, and as soon as Elmer began speaking, his usual cracked and nasally voice was replaced by a deep baritone. Chester, AJ, Sanjay, and even Timmy were caught off guard; they could even hear girls fawning in the audience. Speaking of girls, where was Tootie? Timmy had seen every kid who was supposed to be in this play backstage but her. Although normally he would be praying for her to be a no-show, Timmy knew that he _needed_ Tootie here or else this play was going to flop.

---

Vicky looked around the audience; some kids were already amazed with the twerp's performance. This was unacceptable. She pulled out a remote control from her pocket, and pressed a button. While in mid-sentence, a trap door opened underneath 'Timmy' and he plunged into the abyss of three feet under the stage below. The entire audience gasped, while Vicky smirked, which was promptly wiped from her face when another 'Timmy' appeared on the stage and finished the scene. The audience sighed in relief, and the play continued as normal while Vicky sat there, stunned in disbelief.

---

"Man down!" Chester exclaimed, "We lost Elmer."

"AJ can carry his lines," Timmy said, "But we have a bigger problem. Tootie isn't here."

"Don't worry, I brought an extra costume in case I had to do her kiss scene!" Sanjay exclaimed and began to pucker up his lips at Timmy.

Nobody in the audience seemed to notice when briefly, there were two 'Timmy's on the stage, on acting, and one with a black eye being flung from one end of the stage and disappearing at the other end with a loud crash.

"Well, we're down two now." Chester said, "But at least the audience likes it so far." They could hear cheering and whistling from the crowd.

---

Vicky kept pressing buttons on her controller in frustration, sandbags were dropping onto the stage from above and crushing random kids, but she was missing the twerp every time. Worse, the audience was enjoying the violence. Even Principal Waxelplax was enjoying the sight of 'Timmy' dodging falling bags while other unlucky students were hit and seriously injured by them.

"Time for plan B." Vicky said to herself, and then just tossed the controller behind her into the audience, which went up into the popular kid balcony and hit one of the popular boys, Tad, in the face and he fell over the balcony and into the crowd screaming. Vicky kicked her feet out and relaxed. Tootie was going to destroy the play for her, and she didn't need to do a thing.

---

Chester and AJ carried Timmy's role the rest of the play nicely, but the balcony scene was coming, and he would have to face the music and kiss the braces. That is, if Tootie was actually here to play the role of Juliet.

"C'mon Timmy, we've done all the work, it's your turn now." AJ told Timmy, who was hesitating to jump out onto stage. Chester and AJ nodded at each other, and then together they roughly pushed Timmy who stumbled onto the stage. He squinted as the bright lights focused on him, he could barely see the hundreds of kids and teachers he knew were watching his move. Timmy took a deep breath, turned to the prop balcony, and waited.

"_C'mon Tootie…_" Timmy thought, "_Don't bail out on me now…"_

A girl dressed in a beautiful ink-black dress stepped onto the balcony. Timmy sighed in relief, then his mouth dropped when he realized this girl with beautiful purple colored eyes was Tootie, it was easy to tell when she started smiling and showed her braces, as soon as she made eye contact with Timmy. But she wasn't wearing her glasses, how could she see? Timmy and the others most of simply not noticed her without her glasses at first backstage, but she was here all along, and she was ready. Timmy was in disbelief as he heard Tootie's voice, he could tell she had been practicing, her voice carried through the auditorium nicely with a mesmerizing tone instead of her usual shrillness. As she delivered her lines, Timmy could hear Chester and AJ calling to him to "Go up the stairs". Remembering what he needed to do, Timmy climbed the back of the prop and appeared on the balcony with Tootie, face to face.

"Timmy…" Tootie whispered to him so no one else could hear, "You don't know how happy I am…"

"You look great. Now let's make Crocker look stupid." Timmy whispered to her with a smile, then grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her toward him and embraced her with a kiss. The entire audience stood and applauded, some even began to throw roses at the stage. Principal Waxelplax was giving them thumbs up. Mr. Crocker was blaming Timmy's successful performance on fairies, but he wasn't the only person who was unhappy.

"That little brat…" Vicky said of her sister, "She dyed the rest of her outfit black to hide the ink stain. Clever gal."

Vicky couldn't go down like this. Being bested by the twerp was bad enough, but her little sister too? This was a double kick in the nuts. She couldn't lose this one, she started to panic and remembered her last resort that she had picked up earlier, if it didn't work Vicky might look like a fool, but if it did, oh man would it be sweet success on her part. Vicky stood up from her seat in the front row, while Timmy, Tootie, and the rest of the cast took to the stage and bowed to the clapping audience. Pointing an accusing finger at her little sister, Vicky screamed "SHE CHEATED!"

Everyone in the audience gasped and stopped applauding. Principal Waxelplax stood up and glared at Vicky, "Who are you?"

"I'm uhhh…" Vicky thought for a moment, "An executive investigator for the uhh…. Cheaters Exposure Committee… established by uhhh… The President of the United States of America."

"Good enough for me!" Principal Waxelplax was convinced, and turned and raised an eyebrow at Tootie, "Did you cheat?"

"No! I practiced all my lines and made this costume myself!" Tootie protested.

"But your glasses…" Vicky was smirking, "Tell them how you managed to see."

"I can't see well right now." Tootie informed meekly to her, Vicky was giving her a look that made her terrified.

"TELL THEM!" Vicky screamed causing Tootie to jump.

"I took eye drops, they help me see a little without my glasses." Tootie said.

Principal Waxelplax crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at Vicky, "Are you trying to cause a scene? Eye drops aren't cheating."

"Oh really?" Vicky inquired smugly, and then held out the container she took out of her bathroom earlier, "Eye drops… Which contain dexamethasone which is…. STEROIDS!!!!!"

The combination of a big scientific word and the most feared word on television was enough to throw even the most educated minds at Dimmsdale Elementary, such as Principal Waxelplax, into a frenzy.

"You took STEROIDS!?" Principal Waxelplax pointed accusingly at Tootie, "CHEATER!"

"B-But those aren't real steroids…" Tootie said, her voice indicating she was about to cry.

"That's what they all say!" Vicky said laughing at her, other members of the audience joined in and started laughing at Tootie, booing, and calling her a cheater and holding up signs which replaced the o's and i-dot in her name with asterisks. Tootie buried her face into her hands and started sobbing, Timmy frowned and grabbed her shoulders trying to comfort her to no avail.

"This is insane!" Timmy objected in defense of his friend, "Tootie isn't on steroids, and that isn't an investigator, it's her evil sister Vicky!"

"The simple fact that a member of her own family went out of their way to expose her guilt is evidence enough for me." Principal Waxelplax said, and turned to Tootie, "Little miss, because of your cheating, I have no choice but to deny your request to skip ahead a grade." Upon hearing this, Tootie started wailing and pushed away from Timmy, running off the stage as members of the audience began to throw rotten vegetables at her. Principal Waxelplax turned to Timmy, "However, you on the other hand carried on a fine performance, even in the shadow of a cheater, and therefore I am going to allow you to pass this year of school. Congratulations Timmy Turner!"

Timmy stood there stunned, shocked, and disgusted, as his friends and other cheering kids hoisted him up and carried him off the stage, chanting his name. Even the sounds of Mr. Crocker and Vicky screaming in defeat did not cheer him up.

"Darn it!" Vicky yelled, "Timmy was supposed to flunk too! Oh well, at least I managed to traumatize my sister." She strolled off out of the building, satisfied with her actions.

---

_After school…_

"That… that evil, nasty, spiteful witch, how could she!" Timmy yelled. He was back in his bedroom now, his godparents floating at his side.

"Why are you upset Timmy?" Wanda asked, "You've passed this year of school, Tootie won't be skipping a grade to cause you trouble, and Mr. Crocker was foiled again, everything you wanted came to pass."

"It's Vicky." Timmy told her, "How could she do that to her own sister? She humiliated her in front of the entire school!"

"Well, I certainly didn't expect Vicky to be there either, but it looked like she was trying to sabotage your play too. I have a feeling she was behind the problems that hit Elmer and AJ on the stage, since trying to kill you is more her style than Crocker's, and when that plan didn't work she must have went at Tootie as a last resort." Wanda explained her theory which was conveniently entirely right. Who would have thunk it? Certainly not Cosmo, who still wasn't talking. Wanda fumed, "I agree though, what a bad sister. I hope she gets a taste of her own medicine one day."

"Or how about the rest of today?" Timmy had an idea, he would give Vicky a taste of her own medicine alright, and who would be the perfect doctor to administer it but Tootie? "I wish that Tootie and Vicky would switch places for the rest of the day!"

Cosmo and Wanda raised their wands, and a magical stream of energy shot out from them, out of the window, and in the direction of the Vicky residence.

---

A/N: Thank you to all of my loyal reviewers, the two or three of you there are! It's hard enough to put effort into writing for an almost dead show, so the extra motivation you give me is great.


	3. The Switched Glitch

**The Switched Glitch**

---

Tootie was sitting on the couch in her living room, sobbing into her hands. Her mother was at her side, trying to comfort her, but was shivering in fear because Vicky was in the room with them too, and she did not look happy. Their father was also sitting in the comfort chair, but not for long when Vicky stomped over, grabbed him by the shoulders, and threw him onto the couch next to his wife. "OUTTA MY SEAT!" Vicky screamed.

"You… you told the school your sister took steroids? For her EYES?" Vicky's mother trembled as she spoke to her daughter, her voice cracking in disbelief. "And they believed you?"

"Yeah, they're idiots. What else is new." Vicky said and casually lounged back in the chair. "I was trying to mess up the twerp's act, that's all. I was almost out of ideas, when crybaby here left herself open."

Vicky leaned forward and began to mockingly 'explain herself' to her little sister, "Really. It's in the eyes. They make you look so weak and vulnerable. You were_ inviting_ me in to torment you. It's nature."

Tootie wiped her tears away and pulled her glasses from her pocket. She placed them back in front of her eyes and looked down in shame.

"Much better. Now you're a sorry little dork that I only want to torment half as much." Vicky sneered at her sister.

Tootie looked her sister in the eyes and said, "Just because I'm smart doesn't mean I'm a dork." Gaining some courage, Tootie stood up from the couch and leaned upward toward her sister's face, trying to get as close as she could get. "I was supposed to go up a grade but because of you and your lies now I can't! Why couldn't you keep your big fat mouth shut!" Tootie reached up and weakly smacked her sister across the face. Vicky did not react, neither in pain or emotionally. Instead, Vicky stood up from the chair and glared at her parents, saying to them calmly, "You two, slowly walk toward the door and drive away."

Their parents did not protest, and obeyed Vicky's request, glaring back at their daughters with concern. The front door was opened, slammed shut, and they heard tires screeching.

"I'm gonna kick the crap out of you so bad, you gonna wish I hadn't kicked the crap out of you so bad." Vicky said grinding her teeth and cracking her knuckles, while Tootie nervously backed away.

Around the same time their parent's car was speeding down the road in the direction of Mexico, a beam of magic energy shot through the air in the direction of Vicky's house.

"No…" Tootie said weakly, "I just wish you knew what it was like to be the little one who gets picked on!" Vicky ignored her cries and pulled her fist back ready to strike; Tootie closed her eyes in fear…

THUD!

Tootie opened her eyes, she heard a noise but didn't feel any pain. Vicky must have hit her so hard she lost feeling. It was when she looked down on the floor and saw Vicky lying there it was when Tootie realized that her sister had missed her completely and hit the floor instead, face first. Vicky stood back up and Tootie noticed an immediate change in her sister's appearance. Vicky was wearing similar clothes, but with a flower pattern on her green shirt, and her ponytail was held back by an uncharacteristic big pink bow. She was also significantly shorter than Tootie. Vicky's ear piercings, make up, and other teenage features were now gone, she was now just a little kid of no more than five years old. "_My wish came true!"_ Tootie thought, and then smiled deviously.

Vicky dusted herself off, confused. She had been ready to give her sister the pounding of a life time when all of a sudden her little sister had grown out of reach and was now casting a shadow on her. "_Oh my God.."_ Vicky thought, "_She's gigantic! It must be the steroids, she's having roid rage!"_ Vicky nervously watched as her now much bigger sister approached her, grinning ear to ear. "Now to do something I've always wanted to do…." Tootie told her.

Vicky gulped.

---

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Little Vicky screamed in horror.

She was wearing a pink dress that matched her ridiculous pink bow, and was seated at a small plastic table in Tootie's room, sitting across the table from her "big" sister, flanked by a bunch of other stuffed animals.

"More tea, Madam Victoria?" Tootie said in a badly imitated British accent, and reached over and 'poured' imaginary tea into Vicky's cup, who was sitting there arms crossed and pouting. "Aww, cheer up _little sis_," Tootie said, causing Vicky to cringe as she empathized her new status as the "bigger" sister, Tootie continued, "You don't look so icky anymore. I think it was a change for the better. Don't you like to play these games?" she asked.

"This game stinks!" Vicky protested, "I don't wanna play with your dumb dolls and dumb tea party!" All she could think of was getting away from her now freakishly large, at least to her, sister. Playing with dolls and sipping imaginary tea was for little girls, not mature sixteen year old teenagers like Vicky! If any of her friends, or many enemies, caught her like this she'd die of embarrassment. Tootie was chuckling at how tiny Vicky's voice sounded now, then she stood up from the table.

"Let's play something else then!" Tootie cheered, and then grabbed some nearby items from her dolls and toy chest. "We can play house! I'll be the babysitter..." Tootie began, and then held up a pink bonnet and a pacifier, "...And you can be the baby!"

Vicky's face turned pale with horror and she ran toward the door. She tried jumping to reach the knob but it was just out of reach. She turned around and Tootie was standing right in front of her, she quickly tied the bonnet to Vicky's head and shoved the pacifier in her mouth. Before Vicky could react, Tootie pulled out a camera and snapped a few shots of 'baby Vicky'. Vicky spit out the pacifier, wrenching in disgust at the old, dusty, moldy toy that had been shoved in her mouth, and yelled "You can't treat me like this! I'm not a baby! I'm your big sister!" Vicky leaned forward trying to impose her authority on Tootie, but found it hard to do because even when she stood on her tippy toes, Vicky didn't even get up to Tootie's shoulders in height.

"Whoa, someone's getting a little cranky." Tootie remarked, and picked up her little sister. She was pretty heavy but Tootie managed to carry the struggling and kicking Vicky over to Tootie's bed. "Time for your nap!" She dropped her squirming sister onto the bed and pulled the sheets over her. Vicky crossed her arms again, fuming, and stated "I'm not going to bed!" She stayed positioned propped up on the bed, eyes wide open and unyielding.

"Aww, trouble sleeping?" Tootie asked, and then grabbed a DVD and placed it into the DVD player below the TV she had across from her bed, "This oughta put you to sleep." Tootie pressed 'play' and then skipped out of the room.

The pilot episode to Butch Hartman's new show T.U.F.F. Puppy played on the television, little Vicky was fast asleep within seconds, snoring and drooling all over her pillow. After a few moments, she began to toss and turn.

---

_In Vicky's dream…_

"I'm your big sister- sister- sister…" Vicky's own protest echoed in her head. When she opened her eyes she saw herself as her normal size, but still dressed in the ridiculous clothes Tootie had put on her, and strapped in a high chair. She watched in horror as a towering Tootie, who grew taller every second, stood in front of her holding a spoon. She rudely shoved the spoon and its contents into Vicky's mouth. "C'mon little sis, eat up!" Tootie cooed at her, and then dipped the spoon into the bowl of apple sauce in front of her, Vicky whined and moved her face away like an infant would as Tootie tried to shove more apple sauce into her mouth.

"Oh stop being so fussy." Tootie's voice was now booming, her 'little' sister was becoming as tall as a telephone pole, Vicky spit the apple sauce out at Tootie, who grinned and decided to tease her "baby" sister some more, "Someone smells like they need a new diaper." Tootie mocked, holding her nose. "Oh wait, you've always smelled that bad." Tootie cackled, her voice now deafening like thunder. Vicky's face turned red with anger.

"_How dare she!_" Vicky couldn't take this humiliation any longer. This had to be a ruse, an optical illusion; there was no way her little sister could really get so big so quickly, and she wasn't a _baby_, she was a _babysitter_, who struck fear into the hearts of twerps much braver than her dorky little sister. No more. It was time to bring this pretender down. Vicky picked up the bowl of apple sauce and hurled it with all her strength at Tootie, hoping to bring the goliath down with a single stone. Instead, the bowl bounced harmlessly off one of Tootie's knees, Vicky hadn't even reached Tootie's torso with her toss, let alone the head which was what she was aiming for.

Tootie rubbed the spot on her knee where the bowl had hit, "Now now, that wasn't very nice!" Tootie scolded Vicky, "Now I've got to punish you!" Tootie was now as tall as a skyscraper.

"You can't do this to me! I'm your big sister!!!" Vicky screamed again as Tootie's gigantic hand grabbed the high chair and Vicky along with it in one grasp.

"AND NOW YOU'RE NUM NUMS!" Tootie said cheerfully at Vicky as she dropped her tiny sister into her mouth. Vicky screamed as she plunged into the abyss.

---

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Vicky carried her screams back into reality as she abrupt awoke from her nightmare. She looked around and found herself still in Tootie's bed. Worse, that cartoon was still playing on the screen in front of her.

"Great, I awaken from one nightmare right back into another." Vicky said to herself and started cowering. Just then, Tootie rushed through the door, "Vicky! Is everything okay?" Tootie noticed her sister shivering in fear, hiding most of her body under the covers. Tootie turned and ejected the DVD from the player, "I knew this was too much, even for you." Tootie said and hurled the DVD out the window like a frisbee. She reached over and hugged Vicky trying to give her comfort.

Meanwhile, the T.U.F.F. Puppy DVD landed in a nearby lake. The water immediately turned brown, boiling, and festering, while hundreds of fish appeared on the surface belly up. Anyone who was swimming in that lake at the time caught on fire.

Back in Tootie's room, Vicky was now sobbing into Tootie's chest. "I'm sorry I was mean!" Vicky cried, "Please don't grow any bigger and eat me…"

"Eat you!?" Tootie asked, giving Vicky a quizzical look. "_Must've been something from those dumb Nicktoon cartoons."_ She was starting to feel guilty, she knew Vicky didn't like these girly games and must be real frightened by what's going on. Tootie certainly was, her older sister had just turned into a little kid in front of her and she had no explanation for it. It was fun to play big sister, but Tootie was worried whether or not this change would be permanent, and if she had the stuff to be a better sister than Vicky was. By tormenting Vicky, even if through her own 'girly' means, Tootie was being no better than her sister was. Hoping to cheer her up, Tootie laughed and said to Vicky, "No, I'm not going to eat you. And I'm sorry if I treated you like a baby, and that the games I like to play are boring." Tootie helped Vicky out of bed, and then removed the silly dress and bonnet she had on put on her. "What kind of games do _you_ want to play?" Tootie asked Vicky.

Vicky grinned maliciously. Tootie gulped.

---

Timmy was lying back on the roof of his tree house, soaking up the California sun. He was trying to get his mind of Vicky and Tootie, but with the wish he made earlier, his curiosity had gotten the best of him and he was now using his sunbathing as an excuse to his parents, and godparents, on why he was up there secretly eavesdropping on the Vicky household.

Cosmo and Wanda appeared as green and pink birds, flying in place next to him. "Timmy, maybe we should go to Vicky's house and check up on them." Wanda suggested with a worried tone as she looked in the direction of Vicky's house.

"Duh." Timmy said rolling his eyes, "Why do you think I'm up here? I wanted to catch a glimpse of the action. I'm sure they're fine."

Timmy heard an explosion and saw a column of smoke rise from the direction of Vicky's house. His godparents gulped, and then looked at Timmy, Wanda said "Timmy, we _really_ should go over there…"

He just lounged back and smiled, watching the fireworks.

---

Tootie and little Vicky were gathered around a crater on their lawn, giggling. The head of one of Tootie's stuffed animals fell from the sky into the crater, smoldering and charred, its stuffy body blasted into pieces around the lawn. Vicky waved the lit match she was holding until it was snuffed out, and then tossed it aside. Tootie stopped laughing and looked at her concerned, "I don't think we should be playing with firecrackers…"

"Ahh, this is baby's stuff. I was handling grenades when I was your age." Vicky bragged. She turned to her work, the smoldering crater, and smiled, "I told ya it would be fun!"

"Well, I guess breaking toys _is _fun, at least when you're the one doing it…" Tootie said, "But do we have to break _my_ toys?" she asked.

Vicky smiled and held out a stuffed Chip Skylark doll she owned. "I've been meaning to get rid of this one." She was about to place it in the crater, when she stopped for a moment then smiled. She had an idea.

"He's gonna need a friend for his journey through space!" Vicky exclaimed and pointed at a Timmy doll that Tootie had nearby.

"Oh no… not that!" Tootie grabbed her Timmy doll and hugged it defensively. Vicky frowned and said, "Oh come on, you have like a million of those anyways."

Well, she _did._ Tootie hesitated for a moment, but when she looked into her little sister's pleading eyes, she nodded to Vicky who started squealing with glee, grabbing two of her fire crackers. Tootie shook her head, she wasn't unfamiliar with the 'sweeter Vicky' that she usually put on to fool unsuspecting parents, but now she was really starting to understand how it worked. Still, maybe by being nice to Vicky, Tootie could change her for the better, even if it meant losing a few replaceable toys in the process. Vicky held out her hand toward Tootie, in her palm was a firecracker. Tootie grabbed it and nervously prepared to stick it in the Timmy doll's mouth. "Forgive me my love…"

"Wait!" Vicky shouted, then gave an evil smile and bent the Chip Skylark doll she was holding over, "You gotta stick it in here…"

---

"I'm sure everything will turn out fine." Timmy said, still casually lounging on the roof of his tree house. "Besides, by tomorrow, everything will be back to normal, right?"

"Well… Possibly…" Wanda said. "But I don't see how this is going to solve anything."

"It solves everything!" Timmy said, sure of himself, "I don't feel bad about Tootie anymore, Vicky is getting her comeuppance, and best of all, I don't have to put myself in danger this time!"

They heard a pair of explosions. A burning head of a Timmy doll landed right between his legs, Timmy yelped in surprise and scampered up the side of the roof on his back, nearly falling over the pinnacle. Wanda narrowed her eyes at Timmy.

"Alright, fine, I'm going!" Timmy groaned. He lifted himself up and climbed down off the roof, and then down the side of the tree, the pink and green birds following him. "_Oh well, at least I get to see the action up close._"

---

The two sisters were still outside in their back yard laughing at the destruction they had caused. Chip's doll had really gotten some air, and who knows what was left of Timmy's. "Blowing up stuff is fun!" Vicky exclaimed, and then grinned as she turned toward a large sack nearby. "But causing neighborhood mayhem is better!" Vicky declared and pulled out a canister of whip cream and a rubber balloon. She handed the balloon to Tootie and walked over to a tree they had at the front of their lawn. Vicky tried her best to climb up the tree, "_Man, this tree got big too. I used to be able to jump up to that branch in one leap."_ Vicky thought looking up at a branch in the tree that was just out of reach. Suddenly she felt herself being hoisted up, and the branch was within reach. She grabbed it and slung herself onto it, looking down and seeing her sister Tootie. "A boost? How thoughtful." Vicky said, reluctant to thank her, and pointed at the sack of whip cream and balloons. "Pass me that stuff and then climb up!"

Tootie passed Vicky up the sack and she hung it on one of the branches. Tootie climbed up the tree with ease, making Vicky feel somewhat jealous. Hiding her jealousy, Vicky scoped around the nearby street. She spotted Mr. Crocker driving down the street like a maniac in his black van. Vicky pointed in his direction. "Let's get him!" Vicky stood up and slung the balloon she was holding back, prepping to throw. Tootie did the same, nervously holding one nearby branch in her hand for support.

Tootie and Vicky chucked the cream filled balloons they were holding at the same time at Mr. Crocker's van, Tootie's shot landed on the street before it and bounced around without exploding, but Vicky's nailed the windshield, splattering whip cream all over the wind shield. Mr. Crocker screamed as he nearly went off the road, before he engaged his wind shield wipers to get the substance out of his line of sight. "Haha! Stupid kids!" he gloated.

Vicky was satisfied with her work anyways, but Tootie was somewhat embarrassed that she was out done by girl more little than her. Not wanting to be shown up by a five year old, Tootie quickly filled up another balloon and chucked it with all her strength. The balloon sailed through Mr. Crocker's passenger side window as his van sped past, hitting him directly on the side of the head, splattering and covering his face with whip cream. He screamed and flailed around his arms trying to wipe the stuff of his face when his van went off the road and crashed into a light pole.

Tootie didn't have much time to admire her newfound strength, she used a little _too much_ strength, and when she had let go of the branch she had lost her balance. She panicked and waved her arms around trying to grab onto something, when she slipped off of the branch she was standing on as the shockwave from the nearby impact reached the tree. Vicky watched in horror as her sister plummeted toward the ground below.

---

End of Chapter 3.


	4. You Fall

**Chapter 4**

It all happened to fast. Tootie let the water balloon fly from her hand, and before she knew it she was plummeting toward the ground. Her life flashed…

***

Baby Tootie learning her first steps… and Vicky being there to trip her. Down the stairs, actually.

****

Her trip to space camp…. Tootie was barely out of kindergarten, yet the young genius had already earned an all-expense paid for by the US government trip into space camp… which was literally in outer space. She had been commissioned to repair a satellite in an EVA, and was just about finish tightening the last bolt when…

"MOVE OVER BRAT!"

Vicky came out of nowhere and roughly bumped her aside, sending Tootie spinning through space. The only reason Vicky was there was she had insisted she be there to watch her sister, not because Vicky held any sort of intelligence like Tootie did. This was unfortunate for Tootie, since Vicky did not understand motion principles, and that in a vacuum there wouldn't be any force to stop her when Vicky bumped her into motion.

"Ahhh! Heelllp meeee!!!" Tootie screamed as she began to burn up in the Earth's atmosphere.

"What's that Commander Dork? You're breaking up!" Vicky said as she faked static noises into her com and then finished fixing the satellite so she could take all the credit.

***

A safari in Africa, last year…

"Vicky! Sister! Help me!" Tootie screamed as she clung to the side of a cliff. Vicky smiled briefly for a reaching down and then roughly digging her nails into Tootie's hands, who cried out in pain. Vicky leaned down to her little sister and whispered, "_Long live the queen…_", then she released her hands from Tootie's hands, who screamed as she plummeted toward the stampeding wildebeests below.

***

Okay, so maybe Tootie exaggerated those events in her imagination a little bit, it was a lot to think about though considering that ground was coming up on her so fast.

----

_A few moments before…_

"You know, something tells me we're about to walk right into a disaster." Wanda said, she and Cosmo were disguised as birds in their usual distractingly bright signature colors.

"I'm sure it's something fairy godparents will be able to fix, right?" Timmy asked sarcastically as he turned the corner into Vicky's backyard. That's when he saw all the destruction. His eyes scanned the battlefield, he could see many different scattered toys in pieces and most of them were Tootie's.

"She's losing to a five year old?" Timmy asked in disbelief.

"Well, you almost lost to Vicky when you wished her younger too." Wanda reminded him.

"Yeah, but that's because she had you guys. Tootie should've been able to handle this." Timmy shook his head and then stood and smiled pridefully, "A total wuss is not Timmy material."

That's when he heard two noises, a car crash, a girly scream, and then another gradual girly scream getting louder and louder. Timmy looked up and saw Tootie falling off a tree directly. Timmy let out a girly scream as well, "MOMMY!!!!!", but he could not move in time and Tootie landed right on top of him.

---

From the smoldering, burning wreckage of the crashed van, a pair of arms managed to reach through the window and open the passenger door from the outside. Mr. Crocker tumbled out, clothing charred and his glasses broken.

"Gaahhh, life flashing… before eyes…" he muttered as he lay crumpled on the street.

"_Fairies… fairies…. fairies…. fairies…. fairies…. fairies…. fairies…. fairies…. fairies…. fairies…. fairies…. fairies…. fairies…. fairies…. fairies…. fairies…. fairies…. fairies…. fairies…. fairies…."_

"My god." Mr. Crocker said to himself, "I've done nothing with my life but chase a dream. A non-existent dream. I'm in my late 40s and I still live with my mother. My obsession with fairies has lead to nothing but public humiliation, a dead end career with low pay, and has even gotten me barred from every Mike E. Mozzarella's in the state. If it had all ended right here, what would they have written on my tombstone? Good riddance? Who the heck was that guy? Lived a fool, died a fool?"

Shaking his head in shame for a few moments in utter shame, Mr. Crocker regained his composure and stood up, ignoring the immense physical pain he was feeling, and proclaimed, "No! From this day forward, I'm going to change. I'm going to apply for that job at Yale! I'm going to use my talents for good, not utter uselessness. No longer will I put myself in harms way or others for…" he looked across the street and spotted something…

"FAIRIES!"

Across the street in Vicky's yard, Cosmo and Wanda had turned back into their normal forms in surprise when they saw what happened to Timmy and Tootie, they were unaware that Mr. Crocker had spotted them. All he needed was proof!

Without wasting a moment, Mr. Crocker snatched his camera out his van, ran out onto the street and was promptly ran over by a passing car.

---

"Ehh, Wanda, I have a feeling someone is watching us. Shouldn't we be hidden?" Cosmo asked.

"Well Timmy and Tootie are both out of it, and nobody else in this city can see further than 3 feet in front of them because we always appear in plain sight in Timmy's school, house, or outside. Also, that feeling you feel is just your brain tumor growing again. You know, the one festering on the part of your brain that controls the volume of your voice?" Wanda finished her explanation with a question, to which Cosmo answered with a 0.1 decibel increase in his voice, "WHAT TUMOR?"

They were both unaware that someone _could_ see them, no it wasn't Mr. Crocker, he is dead now. Okay, he isn't dead, but don't exactly consider him a major character in this story anymore from this point. I'm talking about a pair of five year old's eyes, too young to have been dulled by the years of smog exposure from living in a city within a 100 mile radius of Los Angeles, so that she could definitely see further than 3 feet in front of her without glasses.

"Who are you?" Vicky asked, looking down from the tree.

"Eep!" Cosmo and Wanda said simultaneously. They could see the skies darkening, Jorgen was probably on his way. They had to come with an idea quick.

"We're uhh…" They said together, looking at each other nervously, "Your fairy godparents!" They used their magic to create fireworks and fanfare behind them, which only served as a precursor to the huge explosion that sent their entire "_Fairy Godparents!"_ display all over the place in pieces. Standing in between Cosmo and Wanda was Jorgen von Strangle, with a look that he meant business.

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!?" his voice boomed, pointing at the crumpled pair of children lying n the ground. "Why is your puny human godchild lying in an inanimate state on the ground?"

"Because he's hurt?" Cosmo answered snidely. Jorgen narrowed his eyes at Cosmo, he was always short on patience with the green haired one.

"And uhh…" Wanda piled on her own words, admittedly more soothing to Jorgen's ears, and everybody else's when compared to Cosmo, "We're uhh, being reassigned to that little girl!" they pointed up to Vicky.

Jorgen narrowed his eyes, "I didn't here about no reassignment…" Cosmo and Wanda started to sweat, they knew they blew it this time. "…but as long as Turner isn't moving, I don't care what kid you grant wishes too! Just stay away from Fairy World, please!" Jorgen fell to his knees, begging them. At this point, every time Cosmo and Wanda even _visited_ Fairy World the place would get destroyed. "Once your puny former godchild gets better, you'd better clear this up yourselves! I can only give you imbeciles and Turner so much leniency." Jorgen warned Cosmo and Wanda, who were nervously sighing in relief, with another explosion which charred Cosmo and Wanda, Jorgen disappeared.

Cosmo and Wanda and wanted sighed in relief again, but then sudden started biting their nails when they realized what they had done. The "Ahem." from above drew their attention to Vicky, who was smiling at them. "That was cool! Can you guys do exploshunz and stuff too?"

Cosmo and Wanda gulped, they poofed up to the top of the tree and flew next to Vicky, and then Wanda answered her, "Well, we're your fairy godparents you see.. And we can grant you wishes."

"Any wish!?" Vicky gushed.

"ANYTHING YOU DESIRE!" Cosmo said in a trance of stupid, "Especially… REVENGE!!!"

Wanda smacked her hand over Cosmo's mouth, "But you need you know soon-to-be-not-sweety, there are certain rules… Helloo..? Vicky? Are you listening?" An evil smile was growing on Vicky's face, practically reaching up to her eyes.

They heard a groan, and saw down below that Tootie was waking up. She picked herself up and rubbed her head, "Oww." Tootie checked over herself but was relieved nothing was broken. Then she saw Timmy underneath her. "Oh no! Timmy is DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!set on saving me heroically that he must have tried to catch me!" She saw that Timmy was lying on the ground not moving or reacting, but was thankfully still breathing. Tootie tried shaking him but he was still out of it. "I bet if I was Trixie you would have made the catch." Tootie said and shut her eyes confidentially, hoping that when she opened them Timmy would be awake and denying this to her in that nervous panicky way he always did. Still nothing though.

"Hmphf. Definitely not Tootie material." Tootie huffed in disappointment. That's when she remembered Vicky. She looked up, and saw little Vicky smiling at her in a way that made Tootie uncomfortable. Not to mention there were two flying creatures next to her that Tootie recognized from somewhere, but she couldn't place it. Vicky whispered something to the two creatures, they shook their head and pointed their wands at Tootie. The wands glowed for a moment, when a huge flash of magic shot out of their wands into Tootie's direction. She gulped and whispered "…._Mommy…."_

_---_

Jorgen poofed in front of his television set, poofed a bowl of popcorn, and smiled as the picture of Vicky's backyard appeared on his set. He was going to have to watch how this turned out not just because those Earth children might compromise the secret of the fairies, but also because it was going to get a little more interesting with a couple of godchild candidates in the mix with Timmy, whom Jorgen hoped would be further injured in the ensuing madness.

"C'mon you stupid program start already!" Jorgen yelled as the last scene with Tootie remained frozen on the sccreen.

He smashed the top of the television with his fist, and everything went to_ static_.


	5. Band of Sisters

**Chapter 5**

_Extremely, you'd-better-not-ignore-this-it's-so important message from the author: Did you notice at the beginning of Chapter 4, Tootie pulls a Commander Shepard in one of her flashbacks? OMG I wrote this story WAY before Mass Effect 2 came out. THEY STOLE MY IDEA!!!_

---

Timmy groggily opened his eyes and rubbed his sore forehead, which was now sporting a bump the size of one of Cosmo's brain tumors. That's when he saw a Tootie being zapped with a beam of magic, courtesy of his godparents. Wait, he didn't make any wishes yet…

"Uhh, guys!?" Timmy called out to Cosmo and Wanda, who were disguised as birds and flying next to little Vicky. He still recognized them, meaning his memory wasn't wiped… but why were they obeying Vicky's commands? Unless… "_Oh no, not again!"_ he thought as he recalled the episode this story pays homage to (improves upon). Vicky must have control of his godparents!

He watched in horror as he saw what Tootie could be subjected to. Turned into a pig? Pimples all over the face? If he was one of FOP's new season's writers, he would have made a joke about that being an _improvement_ for Tootie. Thankfully, he wasn't that much of a douche.

When the smoke cleared however, Tootie was standing in… Full combat fatigues? Wielding a gun… nay…. Portable CANNON, with a belt feed of water balloons. Shortly afterward, Timmy heard another magic poof, and Vicky was in a similar set up, with the exception that she was holding a gun with a longer barrel. A water balloon sniper rifle, ideal for little Vicky's position high up there in the tree.

"Revenge!" Vicky shouted, clenching her fist in the air, before taking aim with the sniper. She zoomed the scope in on Timmy's head. "Throughout all of our history, you boys have pelted _us_ with the water balloons! Now it's your turn to soak in shame and embarrassment!" Taking a deep breath before her shot, Vicky squeezed the trigger. A water balloon shot out from the head of the barrel, spiraling in the air so fast it made a whistling noise, before it smack Timmy right in between the eyes and soaked him with water.

"Argh, alright, you win!" Timmy cried as he 'surrendered' to Tootie, who was standing a few feet from him with her own weapon locked on Timmy's head. He approached Tootie and asked, "What are you doing? Why are you siding with Vicky?"

"I don't know, something strange happened to her. I took advantage of her at first, but I felt bad…" she whispered to Timmy. "So I thought I'd treat her nicely, so maybe when she changes back she'll be good. _If_ she changes back." She lowered her cannon to her side.

"Vicky will be okay," he assured, "but those birds that are helping her are the only ones who can return Vicky to normal. They can do crazy things to us, to _me,_ if she isn't careful!" Timmy warned her.

"I… I think I saw those birds on my birthday. They _can_ do magical things!" Tootie exclaimed.

"Yeah, they are are, uhh, birthday birds!" Timmy lied to her. "_Oh man I'm good at making up stuff. I wonder how much money I could make coming up with stupid ideas."_

Meanwhile, somewhere in Hollywood, Butch Hartman was relaxing on a yacht in his ocean sized swimming pool of money, lounging on a waterbed filled with children's tears and surrounded by many beautiful women. He turns to you, looks you directly in your eyes, and then bursts out laughing "You thought I cared? You- You! You stupid!- you stupid hahahahaHAAHAHA!!" he laughs himself to tears and buries his face in his palm.

"What are you doing!?" Vicky yelled down from the tree at Timmy and Tootie. "SHOOT HIM SHOOT 'IM SHOOT EM SHOOT-" she repeated quicker and dumber each time.

"Alright, here's the deal." Timmy spoke quickly to Tootie, "Go along with her, let her have a good time, that's the only way those birds will go away."

"Okay." Tootie acknowledged, "Anything for you, Timmy!" she blushed, before raising her cannon, "Now GET ON YOUR KNEES!"

Timmy dropped to his knees and put his hands behind his head like a prisoner.

"This prisoner has committed a serious crime, being an icky boy!" Tootie went over the 'charges' to Timmy, "The punishment: TORTURE, by water boarding of course."

Tootie raised her weapon and put it to his head, "Any last requests?"

"Besides _stop following me around the hall at school between classes?_" Timmy asked.

"Real funny!" Tootie retorted, "So be it… by the power vested in me by girlhood, I hereby declare you soaked." She smiled at him, "Good bye, my love-"

"Too slow!" someone shouted as Tootie was hit with a water balloon, causing her to flinch long enough for two boys to grab Timmy and pull him away, into one of the craters that Vicky's firecrackers had made earlier. Timmy identified the boys, "Chester? A.J.? What are you guys doing here?"

"We heard explosions!" A.J. explained, "We had to check it out!"

"Yeah, besides, did you see how Tootie got owned earlier? I wanted to see if she was still crying about it!" Chester added. That made Timmy burn a little and grit his teeth. Chester was always such a Tootie hater. Fact. As in his only actual spoken dialogue to her on the show is mean comments, so there is not a chance in hell these two characters belong together you Wishology noobs.

"Uhh, thanks for the help guys, but I can handle a few girls!" Timmy said, putting aside his desire to strangle his friend, just to be sure Tootie would never catch onto the scent of a lesser stag, although he knew that would never happen anyways. **Ever.**

"Oh, I don't think so!" A.J. mocked, "Looked like you were in danger back there to me!"

"We uhhh…" Timmy made an excuse, "We were playing a game! Tootie's cousin… Uh… Mini-Vicky, is visiting and we were trying to keep her happy!"

"Mini-Vicky?" Chester raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, identical to Vicky in every way. Except one eighth her size." Timmy knew his friends were gullible enough to believe anything science-y, even his so called genius friend A.J.

"Cool!" A.J. exclaimed, "Although it is alarming that Vicky is trying to clone herself. As long as she hasn't _perfected _the technology like I have."

"Where'd you go Timmy?" they heard Tootie call out.

"They are hiding in the crater!" Vicky called out, spotting them easily from up in the tree. She took a few shots, narrowly missing A.J.'s bald head.

"Oh crap, she's got a sniper!" Chester pointed out the obvious.

"Just play along with them for now! Or else Vicky is going to have all of our hides when she comes back!" Timmy told his friends, crafting a temporarily sustainable lie in the process. "Put on a show, then let them win."

"Whatever you say Timmy… we'll help you score points with your girlfriend!" A.J. said in a mocking tone.

"Guys! Just do it!" Timmy protested, blushing at his friends remark.

"Okay okay…." A.J. assured him, and then called out, "You'll never catch us, dumb girls!"

"What! How DARE you!!!" Vicky yelled from the tree top, "Don't make me come down there and whoop your butts! Get 'em sis!"

"Hehehe, so a few new challengers have appeared." Tootie said, lifting up her weapon in the direction of the crater the boys were hiding in, "_Much better. Forcing myself to hurt Timmy is hard enough, but now that I can do it to his pesky friends that always get in my way, this should be easy!"_ Tootie thought. She knew (or at least believed) that 99% of the reason Timmy avoided her was because his friends insisted: They hated girls and despise Vicky, so why should her little sister be treated any different? "_They've Timmy-blocked the wrong girl!"_

Tootie pulled the trigger and fired a water balloon into the crater.

"Incoming!" A.J. screamed, the whistling of the approaching water balloon grew louder. Timmy and his friends dived out of the water just as a splash of water erupted from the spot they previously occupied. They ran in the direction of Vicky's house as a few more balloon splashed down near them, getting closer each time.

"I'm hit!" Chester screamed.

"That's just spray you wuss, keep running!" Timmy ordered him, as they rushed toward the back door which was slightly ajar. "C'mon, just a few more steps! We'll make it!"

They heard a loud bang, a splash, a scream, and then a body hitting the floor.

"A.J.!!!!!" the boys screamed as they saw their friend fall. They grabbed him and pulled him into the house.

Timmy cradled the soaked A.J. in his arms, who weakly coughed and said, "Timmy… I'm so cold…."

"We're getting you out of here." Timmy assured him.

"No…" A.J. coughed, "You're not." he held out his palm, and gave Timmy a few firecrackers had snatched from the yard. "Send me out.. With a bang…." he shut his eyes. FOREVER. Until 4pm because he had to be home for dinner.

Timmy pocketed the firecrackers, he might need them later.

"Oh god Timmy!" Chester panicked, "We're going to die!"

Timmy slapped him. "Get a hold of yourself, mon!", he grabbed Chester by the shoulders and shook him, "Remember the plan! Don't lose focus!"

"Thanks Timmy…" Chester rubbed his cheek, "I needed that. How long until Vicky gets here?"

"_You mean how long until I figure out how to get my godparents back?"_ Timmy thought. Well first, he had to get Vicky out of that tree. But if Chester figures out what really happened to Vicky, or worse, who Cosmo and Wanda were, he was definitely going to lose his godparents this time. Vicky had done him a favor by offing A.J., but his other friend would have to be sacrificed if Timmy were to try to make any more moves.

"We need to summon reinforcements!" Chester exclaimed, grabbing Timmy's pink hat.

"Chester, no!" Timmy cried, but it was too late. Chester had gone over to the window and smiled. The setting sun shined off his braces and created a silhouetted of Timmy's pink hat upon the darkening skies.

Elsewhere, Sanjay and Elmer, who were doing absolutely nothing, saw this from their windows and sprung into action. "Follow the light!" they screamed, like mosquitoes would if they made a Pickett's charge on one of those UV zappy lamps.

Back at Vicky's house, Timmy sunk as he saw his pink hat symbol gracing the skies batman style. "_Great, two more bags of dead weight I have to drop."_

"Alright, our loyal back ups are already here!" Chester exclaimed, pointing out the window to Elmer and Sanjay who were "armored" in pots, pants, and rolled newspapers.

"We've got to save Timmy from the girls! Charge!" Elmer screamed.

It wasn't a battle. It was a SLAUGHTER. As soon as the two boys stepped in to the yard, Tootie and Vicky opened up with concentrated fire. "It… It was like a turkey shoot." a slightly disturbed Tootie commented afterward.

The mass of water balloons splashed into the two victims, jerking their bodies around from the impact. It was like the opening scene of RoboCop, only with water instead of blood. From the window, Chester and Timmy watched their friends quickly, and quite pathetically easily, fall in battle.

"They're getting torn to pieces Timmy! We've got to help them!" Chester said, his voice becoming panicky again.

"It's too late for them, Chester." Timmy replied grimly, "They were tagged and bagged the moment you radioed them in."

Chester sulked and looked out the window. From the bodies, he could see Sanjay's hand making a weak, dying attempt to reach the sky, a movement that was quickly squelched by one last final, abrupt shot from Vicky's sniper water balloon rifle.

"_We'll at least those two are out of the way. Phew, I thought I'd actually have to make conversation with them!"_ Timmy thought. Three down , one to go. "Ohhh Chester…."

"Yes Timmy?" Chester asked.

Timmy peaked out the door, "Tootie's closing in. I need you to distract her."

Chester saluted Timmy, "You can count on me, sir! Hey, why do I always have to be the private and you the general?"

"Because you suck?" Timmy answered.

"Ah, righto." Chester acknowledged. Timmy fled from the kitchen's back door to the living room, as Tootie came through the door.

Tootie immediately saw Chester dressed in girl's clothing. "Yoohoo! Over hear big guy!" 'she' called waving a handkerchief at Tootie. Unfortunately for him, he did not know that trick does not work on girls. Tootie narrowed her eyes at Chester, brandishing her water cannon. Chester gulped nervously.

From the living room, Timmy started hearing screams. Blood curdling screams. He knew Chester was gone now. But he did not have time to shed a tear of remorse, for he was the sole survivor. The one boy left standing.

It was time to get his godparents back.

Slipping out the front door, Timmy trained his way around the perimeter of the house. He spotted little Vicky, still in the tree. She was scanning the area outside, trying to cut off an escape Timmy crept along, trying to avoid her line of sight. This was much harder without fairy godparents, or those little range radars FPS video games give you. He managed to get to the trunk of the tree, but he knew that any attempt to climb up it would draw Vicky's attention, and then the wishing would start.

As the mighty Mr. Smite once said, "You landlubbers are tougher than I thought. I'll have to improvise!"

Scanning for alternatives, Timmy noticed the box of dangerous explosives that Tootie and Vicky were using to blow up toys earlier. There were fireworks, firecrackers, roman candles, and tons of other things no teenager, let alone five year old girl, should have. He looked up at the tree, then back down at the box of fireworks. Then smiled deviously. "_Okay, attempted manslaughter of a child might not be the safest thing, but __**you**__ try getting a five year old with fairy godparents out of a tree."_ He just hoped Cosmo and Wanda would react quick enough.

First, he needed a way to light them. Timmy scanned the yard. A few meters from him, he could see a box of matches. He could make a run for it, but Vicky might spot him. If he waited too long, Tootie might come back out into the yard and get in the way. There was little time to act.

Timmy made a dash for the matches. Almost immediately, he heard Vicky call out "Hey!". A few water balloons whizzed by his head, Timmy could feel the sting of the rubber one got so close. Those rubber bands Francis always launched at him had made him well acquainted with that feeling, and he was able to grin and bear it as he battled on toward the box of matches. He made a dive for the box, just as he felt a splash hit his backside. As he lay on the grass, the cold soaking feeling growing around his lower body, he reached in his pocket and pulled out the firecrackers A.J. had gave him earlier. He opened the box and found there was only one match left.

Vicky took aim at Timmy's head, she was going to enjoy this. She pulled the trigger… click.

"Darn, out of water balloons!" Vicky exclaimed, then turned to the fairies, "You two, reload! Now!"

Timmy struck the match and lit the firecracker, just as the fairies refilled Vicky's gun. As she took aim again, Timmy tossed the lit firecracker at the box of explosives, then darted out of the yard and behind the fence. Vicky watched in horror as the fire grew intensely in the box for a moment, before a window-shattering explosion sent fire works flaring into the air, and incinerated nearly every blade of grass in Vicky's yard. The branches of the tree blew backyards away from the explosion, right as Cosmo and Wanda raised their wands. Cosmo lost his of course, but Wanda was able to poof Vicky and themselves away right in the nick of time.

Meanwhile, back in Hollywood, Butch Hartman was in his yacht's kitchen. He opened up a cooler and pulled out a fancy bottle of clear liquid. "Ahhh, Danny Phantom fan's tears, circa first cancellation." He poured himself a glass and had himself a sip, "Aged and chilled to perfection!"

Just then, he heard a whistling which grew louder. He looked outside of the yacht's window and saw a giant ball of fire heading right toward his highly flammable pool of money. "Oh. My. Ah-God."

Vicky appeared in the smoldering ruins of her lawn. "That… was so… cool!"

Timmy rushed around from the fence, "Hah! Your happy! You need to give up your godparents nya-na-na-na-na!"

"Timmy!" Wanda exclaimed, "That was dangerous, you could have hurt Vicky!"

"Yeah, you could have hurt me!" Vicky cried, then raised her fully loaded water balloon at Timmy's head, preparing to unload the whole clip. "TIME TO DIE POOPOO HEADS!!!"

Timmy closed his eyes, waiting for the end to come. Unbeknownst to him, it was already there. He heard laughter, first Vicky's, then his godparent's, then Tootie's, and then… Jorgen von Strangle?

He looked down at his pants and saw why. The water balloon Vicky had nailed him with earlier had created a very pronounced and visible wet stain which had grown to the front of Timmy's pants, and ran down his legs. In the world of water balloon warfare, this was the true BOOM HEADSHOT.

"Hahaha!" Jorgen said, wiping tears from his eyes, "Well it's quiet clear, this child," he motioned at Vicky who was literally rolling on the floor laughing, "is no longer miserable enough for godparents. On the other hand, you quite clearly, are, Timmy Turner."

Timmy narrowed his eyes, but shrugged, "You know, this is embarrassing enough, but at least I get my godparents back, and you'll have to wipe everyone else's memory of this anyways!"

"Not mine!" Cosmo exclaimed.

"Or mine!" Wanda chimed in.

"Or mine of course!" Jorgen announced. He raised his wand and tapped it on the ground, sending out energy in all directions.

Inside Tootie's room, A.J. and Chester were currently hanging upside-down next to her Timmy shrine from an apparatus that must have been taken from Vicky's room, either that or Tootie had some strange ideas for herself and Timmy…

Tootie was standing next to them, removing their shoes.

"Kill us or release us, girl!" A.J. yelled at her.

"Never!" Tootie said laughing at them, "You'll stay here until Timmy is all MINE! Then uhh, I'll let one of you out temporarily to be the best man at our wedding." she explained, as she spread honey on the boy's bare feet. "Until then, it's torture time!" she flipped the board holding them around, so that they were right side up, their bare feet a few inches from the ground.

"What are you about to do?" Chester asked her in a scared tone.

Just then, before Tootie could answer, the wave of forgetacin magic rushed over the trio. They stood there, blinked a few times, before A.J. spoke up, "Uhh, how did we get here?"

"I was about to ask the same thing." Tootie said to them, her memories of the past events also wiped.

"Can you let us go?" Chester asked meekly.

Tootie realized that if Chester and A.J. where here, Timmy must not be far off! She quickly forgot about the prisoners in her room as she rushed out of her room and down the stairs.

"Could this get any worse?" A.J. said, then he felt something cold tickling his feet, he burst out laughing "Oh no, no, not this, nooooo!" he said as he erupted in laughter, figuring out why Tootie had put honey on their feet. Doidle was at their feet, slowly lapping the sweet condiment off their feet.

Back outside, Timmy quickly made the most important wish of the day.

"I wish I had a new pair of pants."

Cosmo poofed Timmy up some thigh-huggin' jogger shorts, to which Timmy shot him a glare. Wanda laughed before poofing a pair of Timmy's normal pants, now dried, back on him. Looking around, Timmy noticed that Jorgen had thankfully done the deed of restoring Vicky's yard back to normal.

"Argh, my head, what a hang over." Vicky, now returned to her normal teenager body, rubbed her aching temples and recalled one of her memories of the last few hours, trying to make sense of it. "That's the last time I ever watch a Butch Hartman cartoon, that stuff'll rot your brain…" she turned to Timmy.

"Hey twerp, what are you doing here!?" Vicky yelled at Timmy, "I'm not getting paid to watch you so GET LOST!" she screamed.

"Yep, same ol' Vicky." Timmy muttered. "Well, I'd rather have a mean Vicky who doesn't think I peed my pants back, than a nice Vicky that does." Timmy stated, assuming that Jorgen's wish had reverted any changes that happened to Vicky's personality during her second childhood. "_Still… I can't help but feel bad for Tootie…"_

"Speaking of babysitting duty, where is my sister, twerp?" Vicky asked Timmy just as he was about to leave, grabbing him by the shirt collar. Vicky feigned her fury to Timmy as much as she could, but something inside was eating away at her. It started not long after she chased off her parents, then a bunch of stuff happened, wait… She was going to beat up Tootie for something but they started playing together instead. "_No way, must've been a strange dream…" _Vicky thought, then yelled at Timmy again, "Where is she!?"

"Why, are you going to make her life miserable again, like you did at the play?" Timmy asked her, anger growing in his eyes. He dared even make a weak attempt to push Vicky off of him, which she shrugged off and then tightened her grip on Timmy.

"Listen here, twerp." Vicky spat, "My little sister doesn't have the street skills, social skills, or even hair combing skills to survive in a higher grade." she attempted to justify her case, "Her little mad rush through school just so she can rub up on your shoulder every morning in class, is going to cause her problems in the long run."

"Why do you say that? If she's smart enough to be in my grade, then she's smart enough to be in my grade no matter what you or me say about it." Timmy said to Vicky, thinking to himself, "_I only wish I had realized that at first myself._" Timmy thought, recanting his earlier celebration at Tootie's expense.

"You know… You're absolutely right." Vicky said, tears welling in her eyes, "I… I got jealous, that's all. I'm messed up, Timmy. I shamed my whole family."

The pair noticed Tootie standing by them.

"I… I didn't know you both cared so much." Tootie said.

Vicky turned to her little sister, "I'm sorry, Tootie." she said, and the three of them joined together in a hug.

"Tomorrow, I'll go to the school and set everything right." Vicky promised Tootie.

---

Next day at Timmy's school…

The door to the principal's office was abruptly kicked open.

"ALRIGHT, WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?" Vicky screamed as she slammed her fists on the desk in front of the only other person in the room, Principal Waxelplax.

"Uhh, me?" she answered meekly.

"Alright you nincompoop, I want you to forget everything thing that I said about Tootie yesterday!" Vicky ordered her.

"Um, coming in here and screaming at a public school official is probably the least effective way at getting something done, despite what many parents may have told you." Principal Waxelplax told her.

"But my sister doesn't do steroids, and I'm pretty sure that you can't disqualify someone from a freaking school PLAY for having them, regardless." Vicky countered, "So, make with the pencil pushing and give my sister the grade she deserves!"

"No can do." Principal Waxelplax wouldn't give in. "It's already sealed. Your sister lost, better luck next year."

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Waxelplax." some guy who just walked into the room said, "My name is Dr. _Just some random guy who saves the day like in every other episodeski_."

"Wow that's a long name." Vicky commented.

"Thanks. It's Hebrew." Dr. J said, "Anyways, I was here investigating a fluctuation in the space time continuum, when I realized that may be what caused yesterdays incident. You see, a black hole literally physically formed inside your brains, removing all coherent and rational thought. Therefore, you were able to believe Vicky's implausible story like the drooling imbeciles that you are, and subsequently made one of the biggest school administration blunders in history." Dr. J pulled out a signed document and continued, "I indeed have an executive order from President Obama himself, demanding that you make Tootie in the same grade as Timmy, or he will cut all funding to your pitiful school."

"Great. No more cold water in the teacher's lounge's water cooler." Principal Waxelplax sighed, "Fine, I give in. I just actually wanted a bribe, but I guess that other crap will do."

"Woohoo!" Vicky cheered. "Where are the brats? I got to tell Tootie!"

"They are at recess." Principal Waxelplax told Vicky, who was already rushing out the door.

Principal Waxelplax turned to Dr. J, "You're one of Mr. Hartman's staff, aren't you?"

"What? How dare you!" Dr. J snapped at her, "I'd rather be homeless! In fact… I am."

---

"Man, what a day! First, me and my godparents blah blah blah-" Timmy went on to himself about his stupid adventures while he sat on the bleachers with his strangely colored lunch tray and milk carton.

Nearby was a basketball hoop attached to the side of the school. Tootie was enjoying a friendly round of basketball with her former rival, Trixie.

"C'mon, newfound friend, I told you I don't want to be here. Bad stuff always happens to me when you are the lead girl in a story." Trixie complained to Tootie. They were both in basketball shorts, sweat was soaking Trixie's pink gym headband. Tootie had the ball, she dribbled it back and forth.

"Relax, it's just a game of basketball, what's the worst that can happen?" Tootie assured her.

"Um, roid rage maybe?" Trixie quipped at Tootie, but before the younger girl could retort, her older sister came running out into the basketball court.

"Hey Tootie! Your names clear! You're officially in the same grade as the twerp!" Vicky announced.

"Yeah! Hear that Timmy? Timmy!?" Tootie looked over at Timmy, who was busy strangling a green haired kid with a crown and wings to death. "Ohh… That's our Timmy!"

"See? Told ya, I didn't do steroids." Tootie boasted to Trixie, "Heh, steroids… How stupid…"

At that moment, Tootie rushed into the paint. Trixie tried to draw the charge, but it was too late. Tootie had gone up for the dunk. Even though Trixie was twice her height, it did not change a thing. Trixie was posterized so bad she was immediately killed. Like, literally, she died.

"AHHH, in your FACE!" Tootie screamed while she stood crouched above Trixie's (still smoldering) corpse, "FAAAACIAAAALL!"

The power of the dunk had caused the back board to shatter, even though it was made of wood. Then, the entire wall of the school crumbled, revealing the locker room showers with the other popular kids standing there, naked. They all screamed like girls.

Everyone else in the basketball court looked at Tootie strangely. She sheepishly rubbed the back of her head. "Heh, oopsy."

---

TEH EDN?!


End file.
